Sunday, July 31, 2016

Broken-ish

I really want to get back into blogging on here.  I miss it a lot and still think about it quite often.  I still compose posts in my head all the time while I'm running.  I just need to get back into the habit of getting on here & putting pen to paper so to speak.  It's really just a computer issues.  Not a lack of computer, just the opposite.  I'm on a computer quite often at work and spend my day getting things done electronically.  By time I do come home I have so much to do within the home, if I even am home because my kids and coaching keeps me very busy too.  The last thing I want to do while I'm home is be on the computer.  I even tried putting the app on my phone.  But I spend enough time on my phone, I don't need to add to that habit either.  So that's what lead to my slow drift away from blogging.  But I feel like I have so much to say & share about my running and/or life in general.  Even if I don't have a lot of followers or become a big name in the world of social media/blogging, I still want to blog.  I need to be doing it for myself anyway and not others.

To kick off this come back, of sorts, I actually started a post almost a month ago.  Here is what I had started:  I’m going to attempt to jump back into my blogging.  It’s like riding a bicycle, right?  Once you learn, you just never forget.  We’ll just overlook the fact that it’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything.  It’s not like I haven’t THOUGHT about blogging.  I still compose posts in my head all the time.  I just never take the time to get on here and get it done.  I have no “good” reason as to why I haven’t…..I just haven’t.  As much as I love social media ie my blog, it has taken a back burner during this time of my life.  In hindsight what I didn’t realize when I ceased to be blogging that it would kick off a completely different time in my running life.  A time for me to be BROKEN.

This has been months in the making and I’ve been through a lot of denial, tears and what seems like endless frustration to come to this conclusion of being broken.  To clear up what I mean when I talk about being broken, let me be blunt.  I am no longer running.

I haven’t been broken all these months.  In fact, my running came to a screeching  halt almost 3 weeks ago.  Again, insert a lot of denial, tears and frustration.  This came about after many difficult months of injury and almost non existent running.  But I was hanging on by a thread,  a very weak one and it finally snapped.

Well, I'm happy to report that I am back to running.  Although I'd still say I'm kinda broken.  Broken-ish.  That meaning that I'm not 100% whole and healthy with my running.  There's just so much that's happened in the last year that I can't even sum it up in one post.  Regardless and perhaps not surprisingly, if you know me well, I'm fighting my way back into things.  Yes, I took 3 weeks off.  Yes, I broke my 4 year runningstreak.  But I'm not giving up or walking away for good.

In the mean time, hang in there as I get back to blogging and build myself back up from rock bottom.  I promise, it's going to be an adventure!!