This weekend is the Quad City marathon. I really wanted to run this race. I really hoped that I would gain such momentum after Howl at the Moon that I would keep on going. After running 38 miles in blasted heat, running 26.2 in cool fall weather sounds like a stroll in the park.
Two things kept me from doing this race. My lack of momentum from previous race. Yes, I am still running. Plenty of that going on. But enough of it? I have no doubt I can just go run that distance. But how well? I don't want a bunch of races under my belt of simply just being able to run the miles. I want to have a goal, reach a specific time, finish with confidence that I gave it my best. Not that I just did the race. I'm not ok with just enough. I lived plenty of my years on this earth doing just that. Sure, one can argue that it didn't do me a lot of harm to live under such a creed. But I know (maybe not so much then, but now) that I have so much more to give. I am capable of so much. Just as I have so much to give as a mom, wife, homemaker, child of God, etc. I have so much more to give as a runner. However, that great big push of aspiration & go get 'em keeps getting tangled up in the reality of life with 6 kids.
My second reason. Life is REEEAAAALLLLLYYYYYY busy crazy right now. Believe it or not, we limit what our kids can do. We tell them no to plenty of activities and things they want to do. And we are still busy crazy. We can not get around the fact that there are 8 of us & our schedules to balance out. Fall is a particular heavy time for us. I really didn't think that adding a big race right now was going to help with that craziness. On Sunday morning the only thing I'm going to miss is church. For me that is a huge part of my life. I neither play that up or put it down. Granted it is important, but really, I know very well that going into a building on Sunday morning is not what church is all about. With me, personally, I will worship my Lord just as well, maybe even better, trotting down the street with thousands of other surrounding me while doing a race. Assuming I skip said church service there is still the mentality of a big race that preoccupies my mind, the preparation, the recovery, etc. Do I really need this to, again, simply do a race for the sake of saying I did a race? I think you know the answer as well as I do. Even though it eats at me to some degree I know what I need to do....skip the race.
All is not lost though. I have a few other big races on my radar that can help quench my thirst for a big fall race. I promise to keep you posted on those possibilities.
I have plenty of friends who ARE running the QC half & full marathon. (I should add that I considered running "just the half", but same principles applied). I saw one of those friends & wished him good luck. I did it without thinking. I am so excited for this friend. I have been following his blog and being the understanding running friend that I am, I am SO EXCITED and PUMPED for him. What struck me later though is why did I wish him good luck. I chuckle because I say that so automatically and yet I know that I really don't believe in "good luck". He has worked long & hard & trained for this marathon. God has created in him this love & passion for running & for being just who he is while out there pounding out those miles. That sounds nothing like luck to me. I doubt any of this stuck his mind when he heard my well wishes. Even if he did, he knew what I meant. It's just another cliche statement that we often rattle off without thinking. Besides some people do believe in luck and have a different perspective of the whole situation. That's fine. They can blog about it on their blog. This is mine, I just felt like typing out my thoughts & sentiments on the subject.
So to all of my friends running the QC Marathon on Sunday I hope you have fun and enjoy the day. Embrace whatever reason has you out there. And well.....good luck ; )