Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Waving my white flag

Well, this happened sooner than I thought, but I'm just about in full surrender on my leg.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up and walking away from running all together.  Or even taking the situation lightly.  I am injured!!!!  I know the biggest thing I need is rest, but I also need to be actively rehabbing my leg to get things back on track to "normal".  Right now my leg is barely functional.  Yes, I can walk and move it and it may appear that I am doing so without pain or discomfort, but that is far from what is going on.

I have ran 1 mile the last few days, but it's barely a run and it takes every ounce of strength to get it done.  I'm fully aware that I'm playing with fire when I set out.  I haven't been burnt yet, but it's a fine line that I'm messing with.  That 1 mile is enough to mess with my leg even more.  I have very, very limited use of that leg.  I'd say it's working at 10% capacity and trying to make up for the other 90% is really hard, tiring and putting stress on the rest of my body.  Yes, I can get 1 mile done at a 12-14 minute pace, but I'm beginning to see where even that is doing more harm than help.

I've never failed to mention that my RP (running partner) Angela is beyond awesome.  I love her to pieces.  Same goes for my Team Tough Chik team mates, Shannon, Amanda & Jess.  Even though I've only met (in person) Jess once and Shannon & Amanda never they are top of my friend list in terms of running & blogging.  They are all top caliber women, in so many different ways.  So this Sunday I will likely not be toeing the line at the 1st ever Run River City with my TC team mates.  Make no mistake, I WILL be there!!  Unless a complete miracle of healing happens I won't be running.  I don't doubt the possibility of such, but I'm being realistic and I still rest firm in knowing that God has a plan & purpose for all of this.  So RP Angela will be running for me.  I still get to go and be there and be a part of the team, but Angela will be the one doing my running.  I know no better person to replace me in this situation.

My streak continues.  I did get out this morning to run for one very slow, painful, miserable mile.  It was the turning point for me.  It was throughout that time that I realized I can't keep doing this.  When I went in to teach my yogalates class I realized how much worse it was in other ways.  I could barely lift my leg to do the most basic exercises.  I have very, very limited use of my leg.  Somethings I can do, but it's painful and I feel like it on the verge on snapping.  Even upon realizing this I still hope to continue my streak, but not in the way I was thinking.

I'm sure it's no coincidence that the last few days a particular saying/quote has been surfacing & circulating around facebook.  It has spoken volumes to me and has come at just the right time:

First off, I was only ever doing my 1 year running streak for myself.  Yes, you can submit to the National Running Steak Association (no, I'm not making that up) and pay a membership fee to have yourself listed as a "legit" streaker.  A) I'm way too cheap to pay for something like that.  B) I wasn't worried about having it be all legit anyway.  Runners have a thing called honor code.  I've never done anything to remotely break it so there is no need to question my word anyway.  I am very satisfied with knowing that everyday for 365 days I went out there and completed 1 mile.  I've never seen anywhere where there is a time limit on completing said mile.  While, yes, I won't be running it...I'm fully aware of the difference between run (or even a jog) vs. a walk, I will continue and finish my streak with completing 1 mile of walking each day.  Maybe more.  Walking is not nearly as strenuous on my leg.  There is a huge difference between a 14 minute pace & a 20 minute pace.  If I'm reduced to a crawl then I will do that too.  For now I know with all my heart that I ran when I could and now I HAVE to walk.  It's not a bad thing.  I'm staying on a path to health & wellness and that really is what it's all about!  I'm am NEVER GIVING UP!  EVER!!!!


  1. I'm so sorry hun! Keep your head up and rest!

  2. Stay strong, but respect your body; don't cause more harm.

  3. Good for you in listening to your body and still finding a way to keep going!!!
    You can do it - you are strong!!! Best wishes for quick healing of your leg!

  4. I'm so sorry about your leg. Sending lots of healing vibes your way!

  5. You can do it! I love your dedication :) Hope you heal soon!

  6. :( I feel so bad for you not being able to run... but glad you'll still be in the car with us! See you tomorrow!