Of course, it's not raining NOW. But it was not too long ago. It was just a nail in my already almost shut coffin. It has not been a good day.
I woke up late. Late meaning, 5:15 a.m. I can get away with this on Wednesday's because I have no class to teach. It gives me more flexibility to do what I want. There is a 6 a.m. running group that runs the Lake Storey trail. I like running with the group. They usually push me in my pace. I REALLY need that right now. However I am more & more aware that it's still very dark at 6:45 - 7 a.m. Or to look at it from the other perspective, it's barely light out. The Lake Storey trails are a little challenging. It's surrounded by a lot of wooded areas. Even when it's full daylight out you need to watch your step for rocks, sticks, STUPID ACORNS, and who knows what else. With my leg giving me trouble I wasn't in the mood to push my luck by running in darkness.
I did still get up & go to the Y and hit the weights & did a little biking. I had every intent to go out & run hills this afternoon. Then it rained. Before I even got to that point though my motivation was MIA. I'm blah blah blah to the 100th degree. I could continue to explain my mentality and thought process through the day. But I think I'll spare you. I'm really just having a tough week. Yeah, I pulled 4 miles yesterday and I likely will again tomorrow. But it's not enough.
I saw a sign that said: you get what you give. so give good. Am I giving enough? or good enough? I don't think so. And DON'T give me this "if I gave nearly as much as you do....". Don't compare yourself to me. I'm only comparing myself to me. I'm capable of so much more. I let too much get in my way and just give up too easily.
*siiighs* yep, it's one of them days. The rain has gone away for now. The sun has even shone it's face a few times. I will just move on. Take tomorrow for what I can. As long as my good days out weigh my bad days I'll be ok. But it's a tough never ending battle. No one ever said running was easy.