Hammer Time

Per usual, I have so much to blog about.  What I really want to blog about, I don't want to.  Wait, does that make sense?  I want to write this big beautiful post about my friend Joy, who lost her battle to cancer last night.  However, I know that if I "go there" I will sit here bawling.  I have already bawled bucket loads.  I'm honestly cried out at this time.

So I went to the Y this morning & taught my usual cardio class at 6 a.m.  I wasn't feeling it too much, but got through the motions ok.  I did have SOME fun.  I introduced a bunch of Christmas music & it was hard to not smile & have fun.  It was also hard to not think about Joy and hold back some tears.  Luckily getting all sweaty helped mask any tears that fell.

Then I went back to the Y after I got the kids to school.  I had me a nice good run on the treadmill.  I don't know the last time I ran on a treadmill.  Sometime eariler this year?  Said subject is in the works for it's own post.  I knew I needed to take all this emotion and grief and just hammer it out on the machine.  I selected a treadmill in front of a tv that sported a channel that I like.  Not sure why, I didn't watch the tv at all.  I blared my music, losing myself to its sounds, rhythms & lyrics.  And I ran fast & hard.  Perhaps faster & harder than I have in months.  I also forgot my water bottle.  I didn't care.  I wanted to be thirsty.  I wanted to hurt.  I wanted this to be one bada** run.  After all, if my friend could fight cancer, I can certainly endure an intense 3.5 mile run.  Stupid cancer....take that 3.5 miles & SHOVE IT!  *ptttttttth*

I promise to give you a nice post on my beautiful friend Joy.  For now, I leave you with a photo of us together.  She was such a good friend and I will miss her.