Monday's Motivation or some kind of junk like that

I know I'm suppose to give you with some sort of motivation hurrah. Right now I'm about to drop kick something into next week since it has been almost a week since I last ran. So perhaps I need a shirt to wear that says this:

In my defense, I don't think I have been too bad.  Or have I (please be honest & tell me)?  With our exchange student visiting and some other life hiccups & stressors I've had PLENTY to distract myself.  And it's not like I've been totally inactive.  Some days I'm on my feet so much just from cleaning the house.  I folded two laundry days worth of clothes (about 10 loads) and it took me an hour and half.  I never dawned on me to sit that whole time.  I always stand when I fold laundry.  I also usually watch my CSI or some tv show on my laptop.  Talk about multitasking.  That's how I roll.

So, plenty to keep me distracted.  Plenty to still keep me very active.  Just no running (and very little to no actual exercise).  I've been ok, but I totally crashed and burned yesterday and stuffed myself with junk food until I felt sick and then I ate some more.   I knew something had felt off the last few days, something I couldn't put my finger on.  Way down underneath I just felt weird, slightly depressed, a little catty with my thoughts, feelings, etc..  When I woke up this morning I think I realized it's from my lack of exercise and running.  If I didn't pick myself up right then and there & get determined to get back on track I was easily going to continue to slip into a real deep funk.  So, I put on my big girl panties, gave myself a chin up and pushed through this morning with the determination that this will NOT get me down.  This will NOT define me.  I WILL SURVIVE!  *annnnd cue song* : )

On the bright side of things, my foot has stopped hurting.  I also saw my doctor friend who ordered my xray for me.  She thinks it's tendonitis.  I am going to go for a test run tomorrow.  Even thought I don't truly believe in such superstitions, I'm keeping fingers (and maybe my toes too) super crossed for a good, pain free run.  And more importantly no pain afterwards.  I have a slight theory on what is the source of my problem.  We'll see how things go before I jump on board about those thoughts & reasons.  More bright side of things, I taught my cardio dance class this a.m. and biked at a good fast pace for 40 minutes.  My foot is completely fine so far. : )

Who knows if this was motivational or not.  I'm way out on the edge of trying to keep my sanity during this little blip of my running life.  It's not always peaches & cream, but I'm hanging in there, determined to NEVER let go.

Banned

I have been banned from running.  You'll hear about it why in my vlog.  Don't know how long the ban will last.  Don't know how I can go from streaking to banned in 24 hours, but that is my wonderful life right now.

Here is the xray pictures of my foot.  Pretty cool, huh?!?!?!

Uncle....uncle

Yes it's Tuesday.  I'll get to my tunes (my whole whopping 4 of them) in a minute.

I have been doing some thinking about my foot.  Maybe I should take a break from running.  I seriously question my sanity when I even think those words.  Honestly too, it brings tears to my eyes.  Yes, that is how much I love running and how much it is just a part of me.  To be blunt, it just plain sucks that after a really sucky year I was bound & determined to be even better and strong than EVER.  I certainly got off to a good start.  I've been streaking for 60 days, a life record.  Nothing to be bummed about there.  I think my streak before that was like 7.  I looked back at my mileage too.  I posted 91 miles last month.  I fell short of my 100 mile mark. I have yet to ever do a 100 mile month.  So close.  Still nothing to be bummed about.  But I had not had that great of a running month since July 2010!!!!  Interestingly enough that is exactly the time that I got my first of many injuries and where I slowly but surely spun out of control with my lack luster training.

UGH!  Why can't I just run?!?!?!?!  Yes, I run so I can eat and support my love of food.  Buy cool running gear.  Actually spend money on shoes.  Justify over a dozen Bondi Bands.  There are a lot of reasons why I run.  But if you take away ALL of that I really do just love to run.

ALRIGHT!  I'm working myself up into a emotional frenzy.  I shouldn't be so dramatic.  It's not like I'll never run again.  I'm not having my legs amputated.  My foot just hurts really bad.  It's been a week with no relief.  It has let up some from time to time, but not a second of relief for a week now.  I sent off a text to my midwife who also happens to be another running friend.  I don't have a regular doctor for general health issues.  I have friends who practice medicine and bounce things off of them from time to time.  I was actually considering going to see a new md here in town since I should have one for such issues.  Anyway, after texting her, she called me.  Doesn't sound like PF to her.  Normally once you get going and get those ligaments stretched out the pain & discomfort goes away.  Mine has been non-stop.  Today, just stepping out of the van is giving me massive pain.  Something else could be going on.  We'll see.

I did run.  I woke up with my foot not hurting *too* bad.  That is when I considered, maybe I should not run and see if that helps or keep the pain from getting worse.  Then I went through my whole mental pep talk of "come on....just ONE mile, you can do that!".  So I did.  I had only taken about 4 steps when pain shot through my foot.  A few more steps and things felt ok.  Completely manageable.  I went through this back & forth ordeal during my one mile.  It's actually like that all the time.  Sometimes not so bad (but still there), sometimes so bad I can barely stand or walk normal.  Here is the songs that played while I was on the treadmill.  I'll keep you posted on my foot.

I Get Weak - Belinda Carlise
He Could Be the One - Hannah Montana
Lean On Me - Bill Withers
Tomorrow - Annie yes, I sang this outloud, go ahead...sing along too : )

Monday's Motivation

I need some serious motivation myself.  For a few different reasons in a few different areas.

First off, my post last week about being stressed in my final preparations for our newest arrival of the PFZ (Peterson Family Zoo).  I actually handled the stress pretty well.  For the most part I've had a great week of getting a lot of cleaning & purging done in the house.  It really needed to be done anyway so it feels so good.  But I have been doing A LOT of cleaning.  Some days almost non stop.  Because that is what a house with 8 people requires, especially when you have let a lot of things slide over time.  I had a few mornings where I was just plan unmotivated and got little to nothing done, which inevitability effected my afternoons.  I usually rebounded and worked through the evening (although I normally prefer that to be family or down time).  Stress and grumpiness really set in over the weekend.  I realized that I was not real easy peasy to be around.  My apologies to my husband and kiddos.  They did great in helping out.  I only had to smack them a few times into complete submission.  I'm kidding!  I did though had a massive meltdown along with them and took all ipods away.  Yes it was necessary and I was not being harsh.  Kids these days!!!!  Anyway, despite that they did great with getting along and working together to help in everybody's room.  They too like the extra cleanliness and re-doing of their rooms.  My house is not perfectly 100% clean.  Never will be.  I just have a few things to accomplish today and we are good to go.  Unfortunately at the moment, after having cleaned/worked all weekend I'm very unmotivated.  It will set in soon and I'll get to it.  But in the mean time if you wanna pat me on the back with understanding, cheer me up, give me words of inspiration.....please, by all means, I am open to your love you want to spread upon me.

Next is my running.  I don't need motivation to run.  That's not the problem.  It never has been.  I constantly want to go run.  I am having increased foot pain.  This started a few weeks back.  It seemed like the typical plantar fasciatis.  I got a new pair of shoes.  That helped.  I got a second new pair to rotate in since I am still streaking and on day 58.  (Go ahead and say it...wow, she's awesome!).  The pain has been coming and going.  Doesn't matter if I run 1 or 10 miles it is completely random if the pain is present is bothering me.  The last week, since Tuesday's run my foot has hurt non stop.  Really, really, really hurts!  Mind you I have high pain tolerance.  HIGH!  This really hurts and it's wearing on me that it's persistent despite my stretches, my frozen water bottle, loads of ibuprofen, etc. etc.  I'm doing what I'm suppose to and it still hurts.  Most will then think....or say, maybe you should not run at all.  Let it go away.  I have no idea if anyone will believe or understand me, but I truly believe that running is not the problem here.  I've only ran 1 mile for the last 5 days.  I can say at least I have scaled it back.  When I get up the pain is there.  I can stretch it all day.  Ice it.  Dope it.  Everything I'm suppose to and the pain is still there.  I can not run until 6 p.m. at night, letting it rest all day.  Pain is still there.  It does not get worse when I run.  Running doesn't seem to make it any better or any worse.  So far I'm refusing to give up my streak until I'm medically/professionally told to do so.  Running for 10 minutes a day can not be what is keeping me in constant pain.  Not this bad of pain or this constantly.  I'm ready to melt into a complete toddler, throw myself on the ground and sob.....I just want to ruuuuuun!  Most won't understand this (that is ok, I still love you), but if I have to try and really explain it then you just won't get it anyway.

Ok, this was suppose to be about motivation.  I don't think I'm conveying that right now.  Sorry, can't be Pollyanna every Monday.  But let me go look through my files and see what 'speaks' to  me.  I'm still hanging in there.  I need to go finish my to do list and get ready for our student.  Have a great week everyone!

There you have it.  Deep down inside, even when I'm full of stress and grumpies.  This is what speaks to me.

fashion and fun

ok....OK....I lied.  Here I am blogging after I said I wasn't going to this week.  That really was my intent, but here I sit on the computer.  I have, however, made great progress in my house overhaul project.  So I've earned this.  Once I post this I promise, scouts honor *holding up my two fingers here*, to go completely clean both downstairs bathrooms and fold the mountain of laundry sitting on my bed.

I have actually been wanting to post about this for MONTHS!  Just never found the right day & time to work it in or to take pictures to show you what I was talking about.  Finally, today I accomplished both.

Late last summer I started to make the switch to wearing running skirts.  I don't know if there was a specific source of persuasion, but I was seeing it more and more often.  After coming to the humbling realization that I am not looking any younger in my workout clothes/racing gear and a few other incidents of uh....leakage *blush*, I knew something had to change.  I found one on ebay and took the plunge.  I was hooked from second I put it on.  Now I still wear the same black shorts that I had always worn, I just now had something nice & flowing to give me more coverage.  Although I had not intended this, it actually makes me feel all feminine and oh la la ish.  Even when I'm all nasty sweaty and gross, which is just about every time I run thanks to my excessive sweating. Yeah, I never look pretty after a run.

My skirt wearing has been scarce since winter running has me covered head to toe in several layers.  I don't feel the need to wear a skirt on top of full tights.  I only wear them with shorts or capris.  Today the weather broke and we hit a record high of 73 degrees.  Knowing the weather was suppose to turn nice I put off my early morning run until this afternoon.  The dark, cold mornings are wearing me thin and I'm not looking forward so much to the run.  So I geared up and set out to run.  I planned this run to start at the high school (left the van so oldest could get home) and to end at my boy's elementary school (I love meeting up with them & walking them home).  Before I set out I knew that despite the warm temps it was also very windy.  Well, very is an understatement....EXTREMELY is more like it.  I didn't want to fall into the trap of under dressing then getting out there & being miserable.  In my opinion, better to slightly overdress and take off layers.  So I pulled on a pair of knee high socks.

My love for not only knee high socks, but wild and crazy socks goes waaaaay back to my teen years.  I loved wearing them for as long as I can remember.  (I could dig out pictures and show you, but don't want to take the time).  As I grew into adulthood that never stopped, but I didn't show them off as much.  My drawer has always been full of colorful & patterned attire.  You just didn't see it too often.  I don't know, I guess I felt I had to be all adultish and proper.  And I certainly agree there is a time and a place for them (not saying I'm gonna make all sorts of fashion statements with crazy attire everywhere I go), but really my running is something that I love and IS fun (for me, at least, I'm sure many of you will not agree).  I've also been working on just not caring (within great reason) what people think about what I'm wearing.  Probably the number one reason why I never showcased my fun & style for such a long time.  Anything I wear IS modest and appropriate....who cares if it's colorful, loud, wild, crazy, etc, etc.

So I set out today and looked like this:

Except I had my arms warmers on too.

You can imagine the looks I got when I rolled up to the school after my run.  I'm really working on not caring, but that doesn't mean the process is easy.  I mean I get weird looks anytime I run up to the school all sweating after a run.  If this outfit does say LOOK AT ME then I don't know what does.  But that is not my intent, to draw attention.  At least not THAT kind of attention.  If it causes people to say/think "oh look at that, she really looks like she's having fun. who knew running could be fun, etc." then great, bring it on.

As the weather gets nicer you will see me out more in my skirts.  I have several of them now.  Bought them all off of ebay & never paid more than $15 for any of them.  The one in the picture is one of my shorter ones, I actually prefer them a little bit longer.  I may not always have wild & crazy socks on.  I don't think I will like wearing the knee highs in the hot summer temps.  So knee highs optional, skirt mandatory.

Here is a close up of my socks.  I think they are totally awesome, even if I'm only wearing them with a pair of jeans and you don't seem them as much.  Who could not love socks that look like that?!?!?  Not to mention....yeah, I'm pretty hot stuff.  If you find any socks that you would like to see me rock, send them my way.  I'm all for gifts and free stuff : )

After we got home I had taken a picture to post on facebook.  My boys wanted to join in the fun.  Since we had run home from school (great little extra post run run) they deserved to share in my awesomeness.  Afterall, they are pretty awesome too!

This week....

This is going to be a crazy week.   If you didn't know, we are expecting a new addition to our family in ONE WEEK!!!!  I have so much to do to get ready for this special person who will be joining our family for the first time ever!

You might be feeling like you missed something or you might be jumping to some crazy conclusion (because I realized it announced it on our family blog and not on here), but we are hosting an exchange student from Germany. It's short term, she will only be here for about 3 weeks.

So, I might look a little like this this week.

However, to help with that I am putting my blogging on hold.  I KNOW you are all so devastated.  Try to hold yourself together while I step out and pretend I don't even have a computer.  In case you don't know me very well, that is going to be HARD.  I might need to ask my husband to disable it.  I want to completely clean & organize my house from complete top to bottom.   Don't scoff in disbelief....I CAN DO THIS!  If I am a total tough chik and bada** in my running, I can do it in other areas too!!!!  I am Carmen, hear me roar!

Have a great week everyone!  I will think of you while I am out running (that is NOT being put on hold!!!!)