Vloggin' Wednesday

Yay!  I finally made you all a vlog for my post.  It's been several weeks since I have done this.  I know not everyone is a fan of it, but I am and I know a few others are too.  So either watch or click out for the day.  Either way I'll still love ya!

Before I get to that though I want to throw some numbers at you. In the month of February I ran a total of *insert drum roll*: 91.35 miles.  I am also on day 47 of my running streak. *And the crowd goes WILD!!!!*

Need to wrap it up so I will post my vlog and bid you all a very happy Leap year day!!!!

Tuesday's Tunes

I have Andrew home today from school. That means my day is not going as expected.  That is neither good or bad.  If he was not sick I would have attended my Mom2Mom leadership meeting all morning.  Had a brief lunch then head into the Y for work this afternoon.  That translates into a day pretty much not spent at home.  Even though I tracked my playlist during my run this morning, I knew there was a chance I wouldn't have time to blog about it anyway.  Since I didn't go to the meeting, I do have time to blog and get a few home things done. 

To keep it short, I will just brief you on my running, get to my playlist and call it a day.  Running has been going good!  I have another pair of shoes in the mail to me since I realized my other pair is shot.  Even though they only have 300 miles on them, if I wear them more than 1 day in a row they really hurt my feet.  Even one day will start to bother me, but I can seem to stand that.  Two days, even if they are both 1 mile days, my feet (especially my plantar fasciatis) will really bother me.  So now I will have my new Brooks (got them on clearance a few weeks ago) and this other new pair (Saucony's) that I bought off of ebay.  I sort of feel like I'm cheating on my running store, but I needed to find something a little on the cheaper side when it comes to price.  Between both pairs I paid what is normal price for one.  Gotta do what I gotta do.

Here is what I listened to during my run today.  I included what I heard while I warmed up & cooled down.
I'll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan
Every Breath You Take - Sting & the Police
Free - Barbie from Princess & the Pauper
Do Re Mi - Sound of Music
What Dreams are Made Of - Hillary Duff
WKRP in Cincinnati - TV Theme Song
Waterloo - ABBA
Amor Prohibido - Grupo Bryndis
Get the Party Started - P!nk
Olympic Theme (yes, I imagine that I standing up top of the podium while this plays)
Love In Any Language - Sandi Patti (can only find a live version)
I Have a Freind/Yo Tengo un Amigo - vbs song
Better Than I - Joseph King of Dreams
Must Be Done in Love - vbs song
This is the Day the Lord Hath Made - Gaither Trio
All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey

Monday's Motivation

I'm reminded of this because I often hear...."I don't think I can do that."  Which maybe that is true, but what is that being based on?  Have you tried and actually know this?  I would rather try and fail than not try at all and never know.  If that was the case I'd never know that I could run farther than 5 miles.  Which I did for MANY years.  Not that that is bad, if that is all you want to do or know that is all you can do.  But if you are even thinking for one second....I wonder if I can run a marathon.....a 50k....an ultra.....whatever.  Then just do it!  Maybe not today or tomorrow, but plan, look ahead, set goals....GO FOR IT!

I have something that is in the works that I am going to do sometime soon (as in May or June).  I'm calling it 100/24.  First let me explain that I want to do a 24 hour ultra that is near by in May.  I had my eye on it last year and my schedule didn't allow it.  I still have my eye on it for this year.  I could probably make it happen, but I already know I'm going to be doing some bending over backwards to make it happen.  I should know better because that means I shouldn't do it.....but my mind still tries to convince myself to anyway.  I was telling my husband about this race (even he give me that "are you crazy look" sometimes).  I was telling him my goal for this race.  100 miles.  In 24 hours.  I can sooooo do that.  Right?  I mean....I think.  Ok, so I don't know.  I'm pretty sure I can in my twisted little running mind.  I've got it all figured out.  If I can run a marathon 4 times taking 8 hours for each marathon...I CAN DO IT!  Hello!  It doesn't take me 8 hours to run a marathon so it leaves me plenty of room for sleeping, resting, napping, walking, etc.  Yes, despite what some people think....during such distances you don't literally run the WHOLE time.  You do a little of the above mentioned.  Not to mention stopping for food, clothes change, going potty and other necessities.  Come on, I'm not going to literally run non stop for 24 hours.  Maybe a few people in this world can, but I'm sure I'm not one of them.  Doesn't mean that I can't still achieve my 100 in 24 or at least TRY. 

Since I've gone into that "I wonder if" stage, I have no choice but to try.  I don't think I'm going to push for that specific race, but I am going to try and do it on my own.  That was my husband's idea.  Good idea Jim!!!!  I'm pretty sure I can do it.  My body is capable of amazing things.   So is yours!!!!  What are you wondering about that you can do?  Tell me!

One last thing.....

Thursday's Thing

I've been scarce this week on my blogging.  It's been an extra busy week of me being out of the home.  If I am home I am working hard to have more balance between my computer time and home duty/cleaning/domestic goddess responsibilities.  I made a vlog about it a few weeks ago, but never posted it.  Basically I'm fed up with how I've let my house become barely sustainable and I've decided to do more about it.  Which, in turn, means less computer time.  It's ok....it's a good thing : )  I really think that if I dig down for the time being and get some things taken care of it will be much easier to handle in the long run.  If not, then that is just the lie I am telling myself to actually get stuff done NOW.  I know it's a never ending cycling.  One that I call my life

Running is continuing to go very well.  I am on day 40 of my running streak.  Even though I had some intense plantar fasciatis pain last week & over the weekend it seems to have subdued.  It was brought to my attention (thanks Tracy) that since I am streaking that I need an another pair of shoes to alternate in.  I knew that dropping the "I need a brand new $100+ pair of shoes" would not settle well with the husband and Mr. what-does-the-checkbook-say? (same person there, in case you didn't catch the connection).  It's a good thing though, he does an excellent job at keeping me balanced with my spending.  Not that I'm any kind of outlandish spender or shopper.  Running stuff though IS my weakness.  If not reigned in I know I'd have a serious problem.  However with the foot pain and excessive use of my shoes I really did need a pair.  So I went down to our wonderful running store Go Outside and Play Running Co. and hit them up for any shoes they might have on clearance.  Although I was completely drooling over the new Saucony's I really wanted, they happened to have a pair of Brooks that was exactly my size.  How's that for the Lord's provision.  Only one pair of shoes in the store that was exactly my size and on sale for more than half the usual price.  Bingo!  Since my foot pain has subsided I'd say that is exactly what I needed.  Running streak continues....

Ok, I need to reign it in and get to my thing for today.  The reason it's on my mind is because it's why I'm out of the house a little more than usual.  It's keeping me extra busy and on my toes with more than usual to balance.  Did you know......I am a faculty trainer for the YMCA of the USA health and well being certification courses?  Yes, sir and ma'am I am!  I have a training coming up next weekend so I literally have to go into work to prepare and get stuff done.  Since the beginning of the year I have been going in one afternoon a week to get stuff done, but now I need to devote two afternoons to work.  This gets a little more tricky when, like on Tuesday, I have a church leadership meeting in the morning, a small window of time to come home, get lunch & put Carmen on the bus, then head to the Y for work.  Of all days, I had already agreed to host a Gadet team dinner.  So I had to fix and feed about 20 hungry teenage girls.  I knew in advance all of this was going to fall on the same day so I took some pre-cautions to help with the craziness.  While Tuesday is my normal laundry day, I got it all done on Monday.  I also pre-cooked my hamburger for the team dinner.  Not worrying about those few things helped my day a lot.  I was still stressed and  a lot else that needed to be done.  At the end of the day I did a-ok and the team came & enjoyed dinner.

I started working at our YMCA 16 1/2 years ago.  I saw an ad in the paper and figured why not.  I didn't have any specific experience other than just being fit and taking classes myself.  I had no problem following along in class, music and the movements came very easily.  So how hard could it be?  Well, in some ways it wasn't.  I can be dead asleep and move to a 32 count beat with no problem.  Teaching on the other hand took some time to develop.  I am fairly sure I was quite an awful instructor.  Nothing like experience to help you out along the way.  My classes were forgiving and stuck with me through it all.  I received my first YMCA fitness certification after having taught for 2 years.  While I started with teaching hi/lo aerobics I expanded my teaching to other classes like kickboxing, interval conditioning, aqua aerobics, pre/post natal aerobics and pilates.  There came a time where there wasn't a class being offered at our Y that I couldn't teach.  It was not long after that that I was promoted to the position of Fitness Instructor Coordinator.  Yep, they put in my charge of the whole department.  I really enjoyed that job, but when I got pregnant with baby #5  I knew that I needed to limit my hours and prepare to be at home some more when the baby arrived.  So I stepped down.  Before that though, as the coordinator I was on a crusade to get our staff certified.  We had a long standing joke that if you could breath then you were capable of teaching a class at our Y.  I was more on the bandwagon of we need training, we need credibility, we need education on the subject.  Not everyone needs to have a college degree behind their name (I sure didn't, another fact for another day), but a basic fitness certification was not too much to ask for.  (Although some feel as if we'll pulling teeth for them to get this done).  I had an opportunity to attend a training that would give me my trainer status which would allow me to hold classes & certify our staff and staff from other Y's.  Yada, yada, yada....fast forward 5 years later, I had certified several people, but had came to a point where I was letting it die off.  Last fall the YMCA of the USA approached me & asked if I would become a faculty trainer for them.  This moves my training level up a notch where I not only grant basic certification, but I can also train and certify others to become trainers.  I went through several trainings last fall and have been approved and achieved my position of faculty trainer.  I also continue to teach fitness classes.  I have a regular yogalates class and even took on Zumba for awhile.

I never imagined 16 years ago that I'd ever have such a position.  I just thought it would be fun to teach some classes and make some money.  I really enjoy this job.  The people/members make it so rewarding!  It's an extra bonus that I control my schedule and fit it into my family life.  However once I do commit to a training it takes a little more from me.  Manageable, but crazy at the same time.  Sounds like my running.

Monday's Motivation

For the life of me I can not get a blog post done on Fridays.  I have plenty of things to show you of my findings.  I've even taken more than one picture to update my list/pile of things.  I even have a particular theme going with what I am finding.  Not intentionally, it just happens to be a prominent item that I am coming across while I run.  However today is not Friday.  So, yes, I will tease you about my Fridays Findings post.  It's coming....I promise.

Today is Monday.  Presidents Day to be exact.  A grand salute to our current & past Presidents for this day off of school and work for my husband who is a federal employee.  I am not a political person at all.  I'm not a fan of the subject in any way!  However I hold deep respect for the office and who has (past/current) held this position.  Not too long ago I shook the hand of our very own President Obama.  Don't worry my conservative, Republican friends.  I am no fan.  I have not gone over to the dark side. (My son just shook and said, "oooh I shiver at the name").  That is irrelevant, he is the President and I will honor and respect that office.  I still get a big grin when I see this picture and the opportunity I got.

And now onto today's motivation.  I started off my morning off per usual.  Cardio dance class at 6 a.m.  My foot has really been bothering me (plantar fasciatis)  so I was worried about what my class would be like.  Other than a few twinges my foot felt ok, almost normal.  Almost like I have deeply imagined the foot pain I've been having the last 4 days.  *scratches head in confusion*  That was relief because I was planning a run with my super de duper running partner Angela.  It has been a few weeks since we've been able to run together.  The only thing that keeps us connected in the mean time is seeing her at my yogalates (combination yoga/pilates) class.  Even if it's only for a few quick minutes and hey this is what is going on, my day is always brighter once I've talked to Angela.  We were long over due for a run.  We happily skipped out the door & into the cold knowing it would all be ok with each other by our side.  4.5 miles later my foot had not hurt AT ALL during the run.  Yay!  There were A LOT of rude drivers out this morning.  Lots of dirty looks and not so nice words being mouthed to us.  Sheesh!  Makes me appreciate my 5 a.m. runs where there is hardly a soul or car in sight.

Anyway, that is not what my motivation is about today either.  I just wanted to share that.  It was a great way to start my day & week.  THIS is what my motivation is about today:

I was reminded about this because another running friend who also blogs gave me a shout out of sorts a few days ago.  He didn't say my name or specifically refer to me.  He just mentioned that we had talked the night before.  He referred to me as: a friend (who runs farther and faster than me).  I appreciate his comment and even respect it.  However once I got over my initial gush and blush, I stopped and shook my head.  Now granted, words of a blog can mean many things.  Perhaps to him it was just a comment.  I'll admit, I took it though, as somehow making me better than him.  Like I'm the better athlete.  To which I shake me head. No....no.....NO!  Ok, so as a matter of  fact, I do happen to run father and faster than him.  So?  Doesn't make me better.  Again, he didn't actually say that, so my apologies if I took it out of context.  It's not the first (and probably not the last) time that this HAS been said about me.  People say all the time, "well, I like to run.....but not like Carmen".  "That Carmen, now she's a REAL runner".  Truth is I look up to & admire so many people out there that run.  I don't look at how fast or far they go.  This even applies to a lot of people who "just walk".  I love you!  I think you are flippin' awesome!  That goes for you too dear running blogging friend (who mentioned me).  You are the bomb!  I could learn a few things from you!!!!

So....don't put boundaries on yourself.  You dear friend ARE AN ATHLETE!  Plain and simple.  Now what you do with that awesome body of your is going to look different compared to everybody else.  It doesn't make you any better or any worse.  It just makes you YOU!

Now, go and have a great week!

Thursday's Thing....food glorious food

When I posted Monday's Motivation I had actually started with the angle of food and how it relates to what we see on the scale. I think most often we associate one with the other. Recently I have come across some great articles on food & eating that have been thought provoking. I'd love to link you to the article from Runner's World on disordered eating. Not eating disorders, which no doubt exists, but disordered eating which so many of us suffer from and don't even realize it. I have been a big sufferer in the past, I can't believe what I think when it comes to food. Not that I've completely over come it. Just like the number on the scale I refuse to let food play a role in telling me who I am & what I'm worth.

 All of this ties into my thing to tell you about myself: I! LOVE! FOOD! There is just no way around it or simple way to put it. Me + food = LOVE. My love for food reaches many levels and includes many types of food, both good and bad. Yes, I do, in fact, eat A LOT of bad food. Things that are not healthy. Things that are processed. Full of sugar. Chemically induced. I always get a kick out of people's reactions when they see me pull out a fast food item. They stare in astonishment and shockingly ask me...."you REALLY eat food like that." Well, yeah. Just because I run a gazillion miles doesn't mean I live on lettuce alone. Life is just too short to not eat what you like.

Yes, yes, I fully support and believe in portion control. Moderation and balance is always the key. This does not mean you get to go all hog wild and eat every bad thing in sight. This applies to runners and non runners alike. Find what fits you and your life and eat it! I do have a slight advantage in my running. I don't know how many times I've shoved something in my mouth and said "I ran 10 miles today....I don't care!!!!" I know that only plays a small role in my eating habits though. For me I never run just so I can eat something. It just happens to be an added benefit. My passion for running go way deeper than a cupcake or whatnot. Quite honestly, I'm going to eat said cupcake whether I run 10 miles or not.

I enjoy many good and healthy foods as well. I've taken steps to switch over to things like real butter and broaden my list of things I make from scratch. I attempt to keep balance in what I feed my family. Yes, we have pizza once a week (I could eat it every day though), but I alternate between frozen, take out & homemade. Yes, we love the full fanfare of Mexican cuisine. But I make just about everything from scratch. I know guacamole and refried beans are "bad" for you. I also know that only two ingredients go into making them. (Little health tip here: the less ingredients the BETTER a food is for you. Big long labels of words you can not pronounce, not go good.) So I shrug my shoulders and serve it up to my family. Beats any low fat/low calorie/low anything that comes in a box or from a store.

Food has not always been as easy battle for me. I come from a family where obesity is the norm. If anyone defines emotional eating to a "T" that would be my family & up bringing. Don't get me wrong, I love my family to the ends of the earth and my parents did an excellent job in raising me. However, any positive views on food and eating did not come from them. I still see it happening almost any time I see my family. I'm old enough and my own self enough though to separate myself from it all. I came to a point in my life where I was at that proverbial fork in the road. I chose to take a separate road than one that I had been on for so long. One I had to forge on my own and with my husband and children. It has not been an easy road, but now I'm firmly on my own path. One that I hope will set the stage for future generations.

Bottom line (this is such a big subject and I could go on forever about it, yet am trying to contain it all in one little post).....don't make food your enemy. Yes to healthiness, moderation, balance, portion control....yada yada yada. But stop letting food define how good or bad you are. How beautiful and wonderful you are. Just like that stupid number on the scale....it's just food. I'm tired of battling it. I'm tired of feeling like a failure because I ate a cupcake (or two...or three....ok how many is not the point here). I'm tired of beating myself up over every morsel of food I put in my mouth. Of feeling fat and disgusting because I ate a piece of pizza. Last time I checked, nobody thinks I'm fat and disgusting. Why do I go around "feeling" like that? Yes, back to my Monday post, I sure could lose a few pounds, but so what. Life is too short. LIVE IT!

Little ending note, if you are reading this and your weight really is out of control that doesn't mean I want you to keep shoving it in because I said life is too short. More than likely you are still a wonderful, beautiful person to the people in your life. That is important & really matters. If you are not overweight and don't have serious weight issues (I think of several of my friends right now) stop torturing yourself over food. Come over, let's talk. I'll share a cupcake (or two...or three) with you : )

Mwah! Keep loving yourself people. If I am beautifully and wonderfully made. SO ARE YOU!

Rain....rain....

Well I'm attempting to do this from my iPod. I didn't get my run in until this afternoon. I was really REALLY tired this morning so I slept on. Wednesdays & Fridays are the only possible week days that I can do that since the other days I teach at 6 a.m. Yesterday I was extremely tired the WHOLE day and I knew it was likely that I would sleep in today. I still set my alarm clock for my regular time. Sometimes I surprise myself and can get up when I thought I couldn't. Sleep won hands down. I barely even heard Jim get up & get ready for work.

As my day got going I was excited about having to wait for my run. Running during the day means a few things. I can/will put headphones in to hear my iPod. That also gives me the option of listening to a podcast instead of music. Which I did opt for a sermon from Mark Driscoll, a favorite pastor of mine. This also allows me to run through certain parts if town that I would not venture into during predawn hours. Plus the morning was shaping up to be sunny & in the 40's. Sounds like perfect for a run. I had everything all set & ready to go for this run. Since the boys biked to school I also planned/timed this run to finish at their school right when they were done for the day. Could this day get any better?!?!?

Well....wouldn't you know it. As I stepped out the door to my perfectly planned run I saw the first few drops of rain.

Wait...wait....I started this yesterday. It got late & I was tired. Since it's half way done I'm going to finish it and still post it. I guess it's your lucky day, you are going to get two post. Ok, back to your regularly scheduled blogpost : )

So where was I? Oh, yes....rain drops. You know, like....rains drops on roses & whiskers on kittens.....these are a few of my favorite things. Well, running in the rain is not a favorite thing of mine at all. Even though I could have backed out of my run right then & there I still set out. I was determined to get this run done as I had I planned. I'm certainly not made of sugar, I wasn't going to melt. Long story short, I survived my run. I think I rocked it pretty well. The rain did pick up at certain points to more than just a few rain drops. It was not an all out downpour. Either way I got wet, not only from the rain, but from the mess it was leaving on the ground. I had made a big loop around town cutting through most of the neighborhoods. I directly passed by 4 (of 6) elementary schools and had eyesight of both jr. highs and the district office & preschool. Not every place had a sidewalk for me to run on so I was sharing the road with traffic which is tough when rain is covering a good portion of where I'd normally run. I give props to the drivers out there there were all generous in sharing the road & watching out for me.

As planned I finished my run at the boy's school. I was earlier than expected, which was great because it gave me time to stretch. However it also gave me time to stand around and get cold in my wet, sweaty body. I also feel like it elicits a lot of weird looks from the other parents. I'm sure I'm just self-conscious. That is typical of me. Very self-conscious. It won't keep me from running & finishing my runs at the school.  Not much keeps me from running.

It's Tuesday! (Tuesday's Tunes)

I know it's Valentine's Day.  I've been mulling over posting about it or not.  I'm not a big Valentine's person.  Well, actually, I think I am.  Especially if it involves gifts.  I am not only a gift giver, but I love receiving gifts.  Doesn't have to be big or expensive, but thoughtful.  I especially love it when I am surprised and you bet I will try and surprise you when at all possible.  Are you writing ANY of this down?!?!  FYI: my birthday is July 15.  Just saying.... : )

However....my dear, (sometimes not, but mostly) wonderful, loving (note I'm not saying perfect) husband is not wired this way so much.  I'm not saying he "never" has done or given me anything expensive, thoughtful or surprised me.  It just doesn't happen often.  I learned right away many years ago that Valentine's Day (or my birthday or anniversary, etc)  is pretty much just another day.  I will likely get a card, but not always, maybe a present (I'm not holding my breath though).  That's ok.  It's my husband, just the way he is.  I love him for that.  He gives me his undying, unconditional love.   And he puts up with ME.  What else could I ask for?  Sounds perfect to me on this "holiday" or any other day.


So, even though I am big on gifts, sentiments & the likes, I have learned that it's not all about me and happily meet my husband half way on this issue.  It's not what makes the world go around anyway.  I have learned from God and His undying, unconditional  and never ending love that this IS the greatest commandment.  As long as I have love in my heart and in my life, both given & received then everyday is Valentine's day to me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I set out on my 4 mile run this morning.  I was T~I~R~E~D!  Usually after I hit a mile or so I, or at least my body, wakes up.  Didn't really happen at all today.  I was dragging big time.  My body never really kicked into gear and even now I'm fighting the urge to crawl into bed for a snooze.  *yaaaaaaawn*

We had a mix of snow & sleet yesterday and the temperatures were suppose to drop.  The first thing I did when I got up was check the weather.  Nothing more than a dusting on the ground and it was hovering right above freezing at 34 degrees.  I put on an extra layer and headed out with care.  The last thing I need is to slip & fall.  There were a few slick spots, but for the most part it was ok.  Even though I was moving slower I enjoyed my run and the weather.  My playlist ticked off and even I was aware that even though I hit shuffle on my playlist of 353 songs, some of the same songs play almost every time I run.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - The Drifters (haha, good start, wrong holiday)
Rejoice in the Lord - Ladies Be Joyful (this is not the version I heard, but it's the same great song)
Beautiful Savior (a choir song I sang at church)
I Have A Dream/Thank you for the Music - Mamma Mia
Yo Tengo Un Amigo que me Ama
Blossom - TV Tunes
Gimmie A Break - TV Tunes
How Can I Keep from Singing - Chris Tomlin
We Are the World 25 for Haiti
If You're Happy and You Know It - Go Fish
Dumb Dog - Annie
Say a Little Prayer from an old childhood album Good Night Sleep Tight
Blessings - Laura Story
Lose My Soul - Toby Mac

Monday's Motivation

I love this picture. 

I hate the scale.  Not because of the number I'm afraid I'll see.  But because it really is just a number.  I refuse to let it define me.  Sure, I could lose a little weight.  But who cares. 

When I sat down to blog I started to take this post in another direction.  At one point I decided to figure out my BMI.  I didn't even know what number to put in.  I don't remember the last time I weighed myself.  I typed in some hypothetical numbers.  I mean, in general, I know how much I weigh.  Just fyi (according to that): I am overweight, borderline obese.  Those that know me in person will die laughing reading that.  Good grief.  Give me a break.

This week, whatever you do, running/fitness related or not.  Don't let some number on a scale define who you are and how you live you life and eat your food.  Yes, we all need to be mindful of our exercise level and what nourishment we put into our  bodies.  If you are losing weight, that's great.  Don't feel bad for what you've accomplished.  Just take a step back & look at why you are doing this.  What is your motivation?  Don't worry about what the media says.  Who cares what the hottest actor/actress/singer/athlete is doing to look oh so smoking hot.  It's not about them.  It about you and how wonderful, beautiful you are : )

Have a great week!

Thursday's Thing - No Pain No Gain

Not too long ago I did a post called 11 Things About Me.  Prior to that I had posted about 100 Things About Me.  So I thought I would devote Thursday's postings to things about me.  I had been thinking about this for the last few days, not really sure what to throw at you.  The events in the last 15 hours or so helped seal the deal on what to tell you.

Maybe surprising or not...I have a very high pain tolerance.  I have a general view of suck it up and keep going.  Yes, I am TOUGH!  Which is interesting that since I joined Team Tough Chik the whole term tough has taken on a new meaning.  The word pops into my head constantly.  It doesn't matter if I'm running, racing or getting my hand slammed in the van door.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Such event is what really has this on my mind more than usual.

*I* (as in me, myself & I alone) slammed the van door on my own hand.  Not just any hand, but the same hand that slammed the door managed to get caught in the door.  I don't even know how that happens.  It seems impossible.  In a rush to get to church last night I put (baby) Carmen up in the van, reached back, grabbed the door, slammed it shut while at the same time turning to go around the van to get in myself.  All I know is that a massive pain shot through my hand/arm.  I screamed so loud that my husband came running to see what happened.  That man does not move for just any old scream.  Not to mention it's winter so every door & window is shut tight in the house and I know the tv was turned on as well.  Did I really scream that loud?  I also know that I have never felt such a pain or sensation before.  This wasn't just a little pinch of the finger.  Good thing is that I knew right away that I could still move my hand & fingers.  It wasn't an instant horrible injury.  Phew!

After some assessment & drying of tears I continued on with taking the kids to church.  My hand throbbed intensely and moving it was tough (but not impossible).  In essence I carried on.  What else was I going to do?  I bet most who saw me last night had no clue I was in pain & quite uncomfortable.  I can manage/handle pain quite well.  Sure it hurt, but I wasn't dying.

Later that night I kept "whining" to my husband about my hand.  It hurt no matter what I did.  If I just sat there it throbbed in pain as well.  He said...."you know for such a tough chik you sure are whining a lot.  what are you?  part man?!?!"  That's my hubbers people....always sliding in his humor no matter the situation.  He's always great at making me laugh no matter how miserable I am.  I told him that actually the fact that I am carrying on about it means that it really does hurt.  I hurt all the time.  I run 36 miles and hurt.  Never complained there.  I gave birth 6 times with little to no drugs and hurt.  Never  complained there.  I pinch my fingers, drop something on my foot and endure countless other injuries of every day life and hurt.  Never complained there.  I fell during a race & sprained my ankle pretty bad and hurt.  Ok, I'm sure I did complain there.  But I got back, started running again, finished the race, drove myself home over an hour away and attended a wedding & reception that night.  I think I deserved a little whining on that one.

You can have two takes on this.  One being, are you stupid?!?!?  If it hurts stop!  Rest.  Take it easy.  Which I usually do at some point.  It's usually just well after most others would have.  That is neither good or bad.  It's just how I am.  The other take is: that's right.  Suck it up cupcake.  Push on no matter what.  Endure the pain.  Embrace it!  I usually have to come to a balance between the two.  Life is ALWAYS about balance, right.

After a good dose of Ibuprofen and an ice treatment I settled into bed for a good night's sleep.  This morning I got up as usual and ran.  My hand didn't feel too bad.  At least until I started to use it.  Just about anything I do elicits pain.  Not horrible pain, but I sure do feel it.  Since my hand has nothing to do with moving my legs to run I headed outside for a really crappy 2 miles.  I was suppose to do 4, but surrendered after 2.  I don't say it often, but my run this morning really SUCKED!  Now I've got my hand all swaddled in an ace bandage.  Carrying on with my day as usual.  What else can I do?  Just endure the pain & wait for it to go away.

Tuesday's Tunes

It's getting kind of late in the day.  I'm not normally on the computer at this time of day.  If I am it's not  for blogging purposes.  I am sitting here watching a movie.  I feel guilty for "just" sitting.  But I've had 2 busy days and it kind of all came crashing down on me.  I don't know why.   I have busy days all the time.  And I was fine up until about 5:30 or so.  Then someone flipped a switch on me.

I did get up and run this morning.  At night I have been very exhausted and sleeping rock solid.  That made it very hard for me to get up & moving when the alarm blared at 4 a.m.  I could have very easily gone back to bed for another hour or so.  Knowing what lay ahead in my day I knew that I "had" to get my run in.  I could fall back on my "well I'll just run a mile and call it a day", but I've already done that a bunch the last 2 weeks.  First calling it rest, then recovery.  Really.....enough is enough.  So even though it was tough I got up a moving.  It was tough at first, but once I got moving I felt fine.  The first steps of my run seemed to be the same.  Tough at first, especially the cold temperatures, but once I got going I felt great.

I'm switching my blog theme days around.  Making Tuesday's about my music & calling it's Tuesday's Tunes.  I did do some treasure finding today along the way, but am saving my findings for a post later in the week.  Yeah, the suspension might just kill you.  I found myself thinking about ballet during my run.  When I was growing up, I forever wanted to be a ballerina.  My parents could never afford dance lessons, but I still loved anything doing with ballet.  I got to live this dream through my daughters.  My 3 oldest, at one time danced.  For 7 years my life partially revolved around their dance.  On daughter danced for 2 years, another 3, my oldest for the full 7 years.  She was good.  They all were.  Since she put all that time in she achieved a higher level.  The only reason she quit was because to be able continue on such a level she would have to give up all other activities.  It was also becoming taxing on the family to devote so much time as well so it was with mutual agreement that she quit.  It was a slight relief at first, but we both miss it.  Ballet was quickly replaced with many other activities.  She moved to more hip hop/modern things when she made the dance squad at the high school.  So she still gets to dance, just not so much ballet.  Although those skills have laid a solid foundation for any type of dance she pursues.

Anyway, the reason I thought of this so much was because of the Sucker Dance Song that came on during my run.  I don't know the real name of the song.  It's a classical piece that her studio performed often.  I just love to listen to the music and dance around.  Yes, I still pretend to be a ballerina.  Even though I was running on the outside I was dancing around en pointe in complete ballet style.

Later in my run my thoughts just seemed to be there, but not really sinking in.  Sometimes I run and I know I'm thinking....my mind is always going.  But when I get done, I have no idea what I just thought about for all those miles.  I suddenly became aware when I was half way though the song Blessings.  Normally, most especially since December, I can't seem to hear that song without tearing up.  Not an outright bawl, but at least a tear or long sigh that makes my soul feel like it's crying.  This song has always been powerful, but more so since my friend Joy lost her battle to cancer.  (yeah, I am aware I never devoted a post to telling you all about her).  She actually sang this song herself at her own funeral.  How's that for different.  Anyway, life goes on it normal fashion and in so many ways we carry on with life, but there is still a big part of me that misses her a lot.  I still can't believe she's gone.  So I didn't get completely through the song without thinking of her and my soul crying.  It brought me back to my reality of running and how great it felt to be running.  And how much I miss her! (did I already say that?)

I'm done watching my movie which in turn took me forever to actually write this post since I was not paying full attention to either one.  I'm really tired and need to get to bed.  Normally I like to sleep in on Wednesdays and be home for Jim & the kids, but my day will not allow for a workout later on.  When push comes to shove I will get up & get it done.  It's looking like a pushy kind of day.  Here is the rest of my playlist:

Lost in Emotion - Lisa Lisa Cult Jam
Lord I Life Your Name On High - Joel Engle  I love doing the actions/sign language to this song.
All Hail the Power of Jesus Name  traditional hymn
Jammies Song - Go Fish
Sucker Dance Song - I'm going to find out the real name of this song.
Nothing Gonna Change My Love for You - Glenn Mederios ok I love this song, but WHY is it on my run playlist?!?!
Rise and Sing - Fee
Blessings - Laura Story
That's How You Know - Enchanted Soundtrack
Forever - Chris Brown  totally danced during this one : )

Monday's Motivation

I went MIA last week after posting about my tri.  Long story short....I needed it.  Things might be sparse this week too.  Long story short....I need it.  This in no way effected my running.  At least not my running streak.  I am on day 22 of at least 1 mile a day.  Between recovering from my tri and my "long story short" I kept most of last week at 1 mile a day.  Although yesterday, thanks to my handsome husband we set out and ran 8.  And, that's how wonderful crazy my running can be.  Nothing more than a mile for almost 2 weeks, then all of a sudden, I whip out an 8.  Then to top that off I ate a whole lot of bean dip & guacamole last night while watching the Super Bowl.  And I just didn't care.  Yummm.....yummmmm! I had earned it.

I saw something on another blog that inspired me.  I AM still trying to find a good groove with my blog and what to post when.  As much as I love Music Monday (which I think I am going to switch to Tuesday's Tunes.  But then I need a day to work in my treasure day.  Thursday perhaps.  Ooooh, wait how about Friday's Findings?  Well, I'll figure it out.)   ANYWAY....I am going to try Monday's Motivation.  I have LOTS of pictures to choose from and thanks to the internet there is always an abundance of this kind of stuff laying around.  I come across them almost daily and it just fuels my running/well being fire.   So here is the start to my week and Monday's Motivation....

I have been really working on this myself as I am beyond guilty of comparing myself to others.  On the flip side I see people comparing themselves to me too.  I hear the comments all the time about....I can't run like Carmen.  Or, run 8 miles...geesh, I just want to run 1.  A 21 min 5k....well I'm not a real runner like Carmen. Etc, etc.  For the record: I don't want anyone to be like me.  I want you to be like you.  Because YOU are special & awesome in your own way.  That I think deserves this:

Now go on and have a great week being YOU!!!!