Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Confessions

This is partly a running blog.  As much as I L~O~V~E to run, the rest of my life very often takes over.  And even though people think I run "all the time" or in "crazy, insane" amounts, it really is only a small sliver of my daily life.  Lately I haven't been too great a writing about my running.  For a few reasons.  The above mentioned, of course.  I am one versus seven others who demand my love, time, energy & resources.  Also because, I've been hiding a secret.

I have found no good way to tell you all this.  So I just didn't say too much at all.  I'm sure you will all still love & accept me just the same.  But, I......have been running on a treadmill. *annnnnd cue dramatic music*  I know you all think I'm crazy, but this has been kind of a big deal to me.  I haaaate running on treadmills!!!!! 

I have not always been this way.  In my past I did nothing but run/train on treadmills.  I had to.  With 4 kids ages 5 & under.  In a town where I didn't grow up & didn't have many friends.  I had no other option.  I had to use the Y treadmills and only during the babysitting hours to get my running done.  Back then I never raced any more than a 5k and I never ran any longer than 5 miles.  That has changed over the last 3 - 4 years.  I now have older children who can stay home unattended.  If not then I have plenty of friends to help out with watching them.  I also run a lot longer and my races seem to have no ceiling on how long or how far I can go.  Running & training on a treadmill doesn't make sense anymore.

Within the last few years I also transitioned to being an outside and early morning runner.  I loved being outside! And I loved having my run done by first thing in the morning, leaving my day wide open to the rest of my life.  It really started as a way to hang with some girlfriends who were going on a weekly run together in the early morning hours.  It doesn't seem as scary or intimidating to run with a group of people when it's dark outside.  Or when that big rottweiler chases you down the road, you have your girlfriends there to shoo her away.  It was an all too perfect situation.  But, we know all good things often come to an end.  Soon our little group dissolved and yet I was hooked on the outdoors and predawn workouts.  So I pushed on forward, by myself.

Lately though, I've been having a lot of problems with my legs.  Things were beginning to hurt all the time.  I was frustrated on many levels.  This whole running by myself wears on me.  I do have one person I consider a running partner, but it only works out for us to run together every 6 weeks....maybe.  Honestly, it's hard to find someone who will get up at 4 a.m. and run like a maniac.  With the season changing & it is darker and colder I just found myself struggling.  The two combined left me not wanting to run at all.  I knew I had to do something.

That is when I moved indoors.  In some ways I hate it!  The first few times was torture.  I had not been on a treadmill in probably 9 months or so.  How boring is it to look straight forward.  Sure they have t.v.'s right in front of me, but I"m not a big t.v. watching person.  And I'm surrounded by people.  Who probably look at me and wonder "what is she doing?!?!" when I sing, clap or dance to whatever song I am listening to.  (Yes, I do those things often and with great gusto I run alone).  Maybe that is a little cocky to think that people look at or notice me.  I'm not even sure why I care.  I like being me. 

I've been sticking with the treadmill only for my running.  It's a complete love/hate relationship.  Since I started though I have not had any of my usual aches & pains.  None.  Gone.  If I watch myself in the reflection of the window I can watch  & evaluate my form.  That is a good thing because I do believe a lot of my problems stem from this.  I'm also hoping this will help me with my speed.  A whole other subject that I will leave for another post.

For now, I finally have my big secret out there.  I plan to stick to this through December.  Then I want to mix in some outdoor running.  I miss it.  I step outside almost every morning & no matter the weather I take a deep breath & think.....oh this would be great to run in!

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